Canada as dysfunctional Family #cdnpoli

British Columbia – is either a hipster cousin or hippie aunt. Both may be cover for being the shrewd sibling hiding their real net worth

Alberta – the brother in law who complains there is more to him then people says then complains about paying for everything while ignoring that the family supported him through hard times

Saskatchewan – the aunt in the kitchen complaining she can do more than cook but always refuses help

Manitoba – the sibling who is vague on what they do but always has a good story

Ontario – the matriarch who hates having her authority questioned and thinks she is still paying for everything

Quebec – the father in perpetual midlife crisis mode

New Brunswick – the cousin allowed to mash the potatoes and brings everyone maple syrup

Nova Scotia – the aunt who keeps everyones’ drink full and talks about a friend in Boston no one has met

Prince Edward Island – the nephew too old for the kids table but is put there anyways and peels the potatoes

Newfoundland and Labrador – the uncle who is never understood, shows up to help everyone and brings the booze

The Territories – cousins who are more sophisticated than their tattered parkas and boots suggest

The First Nations – host all family events and get verbally abused when they ask people to use a coaster

The Queen – the grandma who would love to visit more but has so many grandchildren she shouldn’t choose favourites

Hopefully this was equally insulting to all. If not let me know and I will fix that.


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